Tough.

What does it mean to be tough?

This past week I got asked what it meant to be “tough”. I was a bit taken off guard by the questions and I am pretty sure that I rambled out answers. Afterwards, I went home and really thought about what I was asked.

Everyone has their own versions of what it means to be “tough”. Most, often define being tough as having strength, but personally I think the two are different.

The definition of the word “strong” is having the power to move heavy weights or perform other physically demanding tasks. While, the definition of the word “tough” is that a substance or object is strong enough to withstand adverse conditions or rough or careless handling. So, reciting these two definitions back to you may not be the most compelling argument, but stick with me.

The difference between being “strong” and being “tough” is patience in adversity. If you are strong you will force your way through a situation without thinking about the consequences and reactions. You will use brute force to will your way to your goal or destination. This can cause adverse reactions from peers and actually lead you to a set back or cause another problem.

The difference lies within how you respond to an adverse situation. If you are “tough” you will understand that there will be many failures before you find true success. If you are “tough” you will understand a setback is just an opportunity to work on something else. If you are “tough” you will have the ability to commit and dedicate yourself to a goal without wavering. If you are “tough” you will understand that you are the only person that is in control of what happens to you.

So whatever we are looking to achieve we need to be tough, not just strong.

Self Sabotage.

“I know exactly what I have to do, but I still cannot seem to lose any weight.”

Is this something that you hear yourself saying? Well, it’s not too uncommon. Most people have a pretty good handle on what they should and shouldn’t be eating. It’s not too often you hear about someone eating cake and pop tarts for breakfast while thinking that they have their diet pretty dialed in.

So, if you know what foods you should be eating, why can’t you seem to lose those stubborn pounds? Yes, there is the quantity component which definitely comes into play. However, I am going to be honest, you typically don’t hear too many people who are overweight from simply eating kale and strawberries. If you are eating the right foods, 9 times out of 10, things fall into place.

From an early age we begin to believe “caring isn’t cool” and that self destructive behavior is what is normal. It’s what we watch on TV, read in the magazines and listen to on the radio. The problem with the “caring isn’t cool” model is that our innate behavior is to care and to care deeply in fact. We care about everything that has to do with ourselves, from our appearance to the energy we give off. So what’s the problem? What’s the deal with this self sabotage?

Self sabotaging behavior creates problems and interferes with our long-standing goals. In the gym, and life, we typically hear of forms of self-sabotage in the form of procrastination and comfort eating. The reason we self sabotage is typically in the form of a lack of self-esteem, self-worth and self-confidence because we don’t feel as if we are worthy of what we are trying to achieve. We typically set ourselves up to fail before we even start because it is much easier to not try at all rather than fail at something we care about. Below are three ways to stop yourself from yourself:

1. “If only…”
   • If only I didn’t have a full time job. If only I didn’t have any kids. If only my knees didn’t hurt. These are just some of the things I get to hear everyday. Rather than creating a negative experience in your mind, change it to something that you can accomplish.
2. “I’ll start tomorrow.”
   • I had a pizza for lunch, so there is no point in starting a diet today. There is a great quote that I like to refer people to: “Do what you can, with what you have, where you are.” Don’t let one action spiral into your next decision. Just because you did “X” does not mean you have to do “Y”.
3. “It’s not that big of a deal”
   • This brings us back to our “caring isn’t cool” culture. It would be a tragedy to let others know what we really think and feel. So rather than saying no to going out for a drink or happy hour you don’t really want to be at, you just say yes because “you don’t care”.

There are many obstacles that we will face in our pursuit of health and fitness. Most of the times we have to ask ourselves, “Is the juice worth the squeeze?” Figure out what you want and work until you have it.