Closing a Chapter.

You can’t start a new chapter, if you haven’t finished an old one. Today, I plan on closing a chapter. So, to start, I qualified for the 2014 Mid-Atlantic Regional as an individual and declined the invite in order to go team with CrossFit Center City. It wasn’t an easy choice, but it was definitely the right one. There are many things that happen in life that you may not understand at the time, but were necessary steps to bring you from where you were to where you want to be. I believe that tearing my shoulder before the 2013 CrossFit Games Mid-Atlantic Regional was a step. A step in the right direction to where I want to go. I want to stand on the podium at a Regional event and wear a shirt that says, “Proven”. I want to punch my ticket to Carson, CA and I want it to be earned.

A year ago, a torn shoulder was the worst thing that could have happened to me. I was full steam ahead on charging down a dream to California. I wanted to be on that podium more than I wanted to be able to breathe, and granted – I still do. However, when your world is rocked and you think you are at rock bottom, you can get pretty creative. You learn ways to work around shitty situations and how to make the best of every day you are given because it is a gift. Too many of us take a day for granted. Time is the only thing you can’t get back, so you can’t give your time away to things that aren’t making you a better person or bringing you closer to your dream.

When I tore my shoulder, it was a couple days before I stepped into CrossFit Center City while I was ramping up for Regionals. I had masked the pain with lies, “I’m fine”, “It’s tendonitis”, “I tweaked it a bit”, meanwhile I couldn’t get my arm to a ninety degree angle. I continued on to compete at the 2013 CrossFit Games Mid-Atlantic Regional, because again time is precious. I knew that it could be my one shot to consider myself a Regional level athlete. I didn’t know what was in store for my shoulder, so I said screw it and I competed. After the weekend, I couldn’t really move my arm much more than a couple inches away from my body.

On July 22nd, 2013, I got labral surgery for a Bankart and SLAP tear in my labrum in my left shoulder. Hours after I had the surgery, the doctor had told me he had stitched me up extra good, because this was a second time offense – first was playing lacrosse in High School. He then went on to tell me that I probably could not train competitively again, but I would most likely be able to do a scaled version of CrossFit recreationally. I didn’t listen. I believed that if I put all of my energy in my rehabilitation I could do it.

Surgery

Two weeks after the surgery, I sat down with Erin Davidson, owner of CrossFit Center City, and told her I wanted to rehab my shoulder back to full health and help qualify a team for the 2014 CrossFit Games – Mid Atlantic Regional. She thought I was crazy. From then, I had a goal. The next part was getting a plan. A friend that I had met at Regionals, Perrin Behr, got me in touch with her coach – Jason Leydon. It was focusing only on rehabbing my shoulder and having fun. Nothing crazy, but it was still a plan to say the least. This lead to physical therapy appointments, massage therapy appointments, chiropractic appointments, and electro stimulation sessions. You name it; I did it, hours and hours of working on my shoulder.

I didn’t even see it until late January where I was starting to do snatches again. It started with a PVC pipe, then empty bar Muscle Snatches, then empty bar Power Snatches, then empty bar Power Snatches plus and Overhead Squat. Finally, empty bar Snatches. Then I went through the process with sixty-five pounds, then scaled down and did it again with ninety-five pounds, and then I did it with one hundred and thirty five pounds. Finally, I let loose and went off feel. However, everything had a progression. It’s easy to forget where you have been, when you are struggling with where you are. Perspective can be a bitch or your best friend. I learned to not really stress about missed lifts, because I was so damn happy I was lifting. A bad training day was still a training day and that was very important to me. This usually led to some great sessions because I was always focused on a positive attitude. Advice, never forget where you have been.

PVC

All year it was test the waters a bit, and then reassess if I needed to pull back or if I could keep a movement in the program. I didn’t do a chest to bar pull-up until 3 days before 14.2, then I did 100 and rested my shoulder for 3-4 days because the volume bothered it. Was it the best idea, maybe not; however, my body gave me a sign and I listened. Jay was a saint when working with me. I owe a lot of this to him and his ability to keep my mind on a goal, a healthy shoulder.

Starting in late December, we started having Friday Night Lights. A group of 10-12 people would get together at 7pm on Friday and throw down. Spirits were high and we all got to push each other in a friendly competitive atmosphere. We grew to know each other a bit more and mesh together. Knew what drove one person, deterred another. We learned how to talk to each other and respect one another. Training with other people kept me hungry, knowing it wasn’t just me that needed my shoulder anymore drove me even more. I wanted to be a leader and I wanted to do things correctly. I felt if I did things the right way, other people would notice and do the same.

Fast forward through the Open, it was amazing getting the invite not only as an individual, but as a team. Getting to compete alongside my friends was one of the most rewarding experiences for me. I got to see people push past their barriers, their mental blocks. Movements that athletes shied away from became movements that were often practiced. People owned their weaknesses to the point they became strengths. It was amazing to witness.

Nothing was more rewarding for me as a friend and teammate to get to do Event 7 with Erin. It was no secret that Erin was not comfortable with heavier deadlifts. We all knew this. To see her lift one hundred and eighty five pounds every time I asked her to was one of the most fulfilling moments in my CrossFit career. I got to see firsthand the mental side of not just an athlete, but of a person when others depend on them. I know Erin didn’t want to lift that bar; she didn’t want to go near it let alone grab it. However, every time she had to bring the bar off the groun,  she did, because someone was depending on her and that tells me a lot about a person. It tells me she will fight for her friends and for her family and will do anything she can to help someone.

death1 OHS

I also got to see Morgan Vozobule complete fifteen muscle ups. When we met back in May 2013, she didn’t have one. Perspective is everything. She overcame so many obstacles this year, trained like a mad woman and listened to every piece of bullshit I had to say – and then, she called me out on it. I remember during 14.1 of this year’s Open looking at Morgan during a set of my seventy-five pounds snatches and saying to myself, “Don’t let her down.”

Perrin Behr, willing and unwillingly became my therapist. Every problem, feeling and circumstance that arose in my life went right to her. Phone calls, talks in person at the gym, text messages, and e-mails. Long talks of goals and ambitions and where we see ourselves in years to come. I have made a close friend this year, one that I will make sure stays close to me for years to come.

group

Emily Record, you didn’t kill me, even though I am 87% sure you wanted to 95% of the time. We come from two completely schools of thought pertaining to most things under the sun. We’ve trained together at times that were inconvenient for both of us, but we always made it work. The effort and passion you have for this sport is admiring, but second to the passion you have for everyone at this gym. Your decision didn’t go unnoticed and speaks to me a lot about who you are. I have a tremendous amount of respect for you not only as an athlete and coach, but as a person. Thank you for making me a better person, even though I didn’t know I needed to be.

I watched Danny Bove – my roommate, college friend and now teammate – put aside his program jumping ways and believe in me as a programmer. The fire that was lit in his eye after smoking a PR Hang Snatch, 225lbs, at Regionals is a feeling I won’t forget – even though I missed it right after him. Again, I won’t forget this Danny, just like the bodyweight deadlifts, pushups and double under workout we first did together back in September of 2011 when we first met – you bastard.

danny

While times I wanted to kill Tim Heckman for being so relaxed and chill during a training session. He was the balance to all the high strung, stressed training that was going on leading up to Regionals. A willingness to go with the flow and take things as they come does not go unnoticed. This weekend Tim always kept me calm when I was starting to freak out a bit, reminding me that we are just doing workouts and making fitness. I can’t wait to see what is in store over the next year.

Chris Santaniello, nothing can really be said that I haven’t said before. Day in and day out I am amazed by your passion and drive, your will to better not only yourself, but all those around you. I’ve watch you prioritize your entire life within the past six months. I’ve seen you find purpose through CrossFit and push past barriers. No matter what happens over the next couple weeks, months, or years I will be here for you through it all. I am glad that we are not only teammates, but good friends.

dad

This year really showed me that, “It takes a village.” This sport is so much better when you have people you can lean on when you aren’t your best, rather than training in an empty gym alone. I couldn’t be here without these people that were brought into my life this year. A willingness to let me grow as a person and athlete comes with one thousand thank you’s. I have been able to build a small family in Philadelphia this year and I definitely couldn’t have done that without Erin Davidson and CrossFit Center City. I will forever be home in this gym, even if they don’t want me to be. With the support I have gained over the past 12 months, I plan to charge onto the 2015 CrossFit Games season and chase my dreams.

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